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Sleep paralysis, episode 2

I had another episode of sleep paralysis last night. Didn't actually think it'd happen again after the first a few years ago. So I woke up with my blackberry in my hands and that struck me as incredibly odd, but it didn't bother me that much then. Then for some reason I lost my grip and my blackberry, connected to the charger slipped off my hands as if snatched away and fell to the ground. But I was in such a strange state that I didn't care to pick my blackberry up; I figured I'd just do it when I woke up. 

Then I felt a presence at the foot of my bed. Then my blanket got tugged off. It was only then that I realised I was paralyzed. I tried to move my left hand so that I could pick my blanket up from the floor, but found myself immobile. So what seemed only natural was to move my right hand instead, but could move only my fingers and nothing else. Yet for some odd reason the grasping of my fingers managed to get my blanket back up with a feeling as if it got tugged back step-wise with my hand movement. Really though, it seemed the blanket came back up with no effort of my own.  

After a while I realised I was properly tucked in bed but couldn't go back to sleep because there flashes of white were pulsing across every time I closed my eyes. When it finally came to a calm, I decided I probably should try to pick my blackberry up from the ground. To my relief, I found I could actually move, but my blackberry was not on the ground - it was on my table. Right. It was all a hallucination. 

Suffice to say, I had terrible sleep. But to be fair, I did go to bed at 5.30am. It was a lapse of judgement on my part, deciding it was actually a good idea to nap from 12.30am - 2.30am and wake up to try to get some work done, fuelled by caffeine. Not such a good idea after all, although I did manage to do a bit of reading. 

Ah well. 

The last time this happened was years ago, and it was a lot scarier. I woke up more paralyzed than I had felt last night, and found myself seemingly locked in my body unable to move. I could tilt my head and when I did I saw a girl sitting and crying outside my room. And also felt as if something dark and heavy was looming over me trying to suffocate me. I also amaze myself how calm I was after the incident to still be able to research about the episode and find accounts and explanations for sleep paralysis.  

I must've been pretty damn fatigued.

Disappear

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I'm not here, I'm not here, I disappear, I'm not here, I'm not here.

So in love with The Sound of Arrows, I need moarrrrr.   

I am posting an entry only because my histology slides on the digital slidebox are going batshit crazy hanging on me. 

On that note, I realised that 14 February (yes, the day I fell in love with my macbook and committed to spend my life with it) was the last day of my macbook Apple Care since I got it 3 years ago on that one fateful Valentine's Day. Now that Apple's Care has since expired, it better not die on me in tragic ways. Don't think my heart can handle it. 

Aites. GOODNIGHT. Yeah, it is 9pm. But yeah. No, this is not the radical life-changing reshuffle of my life I had been harping on the past 2 months (and forever), I just need some sleep. Also, I am finally realizing what terrible damage I am doing to my body with my caffeine dependence. Better late than never, but what do I do now?! I NEED MY CAFFEINE SO BAD. 

When you believe

They don't always happen when you ask 
And it's easy to give in to your fears 
But when you're blinded by your pain 
Can't see the way, get through the rain 
A small but still, resilient voice 
Says love is very near, oh [Oh] 
There can be miracles (Miracles) 
When you believe

Dying from nostalgia )': 

This reading week is also very crazy. That intention to rest, reconsolidate and refresh is going to have to suffer another postponement. 

So it looks like I am back to the same old cycle of overscheduling and wind up finding how many things are clashing. Old habits die hard. 

Nonetheless. I had such a good time when Sam came over <3 Meaningful conversations and then doused with all that frivolity. I love you Sam. 

Recuperate

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Mom always tells me 休息是为了走更长的路. 

That is, rest takes you for a longer journey. And as always, much more elegant a saying in Chinese than when translated (or perhaps I just suck at effective translation). 

It has been a pretty disorienting past few weeks. So in spite of all the deadlines to meet and the tests upcoming, I think I am going to give myself a decent break this reading week. And reshuffle my life a bit. I am not satisfied with this. My intentions to consolidate myself backfired on me when the term started and deadlines loomed over too quickly after the winter travels. Always happens. But it will work out soon after.  

Into the skies

1. How wonderful it'd be to learn at the rate of an infant. Perpetual curiosity, uninhibited. Into a dimension where there are no wrong answers - only answers to different questions.

2. Unsettled, unfulfilled. Still seeking shift. 

3. No more paralyzing 3am melancholia (oughta know the effects of sleep deprivation as a neuroscientist)

4. Rather torn about whether I can make time to climb tomorrow

5. Craving for White Wine Mussels & Chocolate with sea salt

6. Falling in love with post-production again

7. Sushi with Neuros tomorrow. 

Like the deserts miss the rain

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You always were two steps ahead of everyone
We'd walk behind while you would run

And I miss you - like the deserts miss the rain

This whole being too unoccupied (= vacant?) this term was bad news. Already desperately filling up my schedule and finding things to busy myself with.  

Also, today Edi taught me how to descale fish. It was an epic experience - like the 1kg slab of salmon was alive and determined to get me. The whole episode ended with a perfectly descaled salmon and a lot of scales in my hair... and all over me. As I always say about practically every thing these days - likka freaking boss. 
Posterous theme by Cory Watilo
  
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